Welcome to the FifthKitty Homebody Collective

We Make Tees for People Who'd Rather Stay Home With Animals Than Fake It at Brunch

You're not antisocial. You're not unfriendly. You're just... particular about your energy.

You'd choose your cat over most people (and you're not sorry about it). Your ideal Friday night involves books, blankets, and absolutely zero small talk. When someone asks "why are you so quiet?" you resist the urge to let your shirt answer for you.

Until now.

Why We Started FifthKitty

Most funny t-shirt brands make you choose: cheap fast fashion that falls apart, or ethical brands with zero personality.

We refused to choose. You shouldn't have to sacrifice quality for values, or humor for sustainability.

So we built something different.

Our Solution: Premium Sarcasm With a Conscience

FifthKitty exists because humor, wit, and unapologetic self-expression shouldn't be confined to mass-produced mediocrity. Your personality deserves better quality and zero guilt.

We create print-on-demand apparel with sharp wit and premium quality that's made sustainably in the USA—only when you order it.

What That Actually Means:

Zero Overproduction. We don't manufacture thousands of shirts hoping they sell. Your shirt is printed after you order it, which means zero warehouse waste and zero unsold inventory ending up in landfills.

Premium Fabric That Actually Lasts. We use Gildan and Comfort Colors—soft, durable, made to survive 100+ washes. Because if you're wearing it on the couch 90% of the time (no judgment—same), it better feel incredible.

Eco-Friendly Inks. Water-based, low-impact inks that don't trash the planet. Your sarcasm can be sharp; your environmental footprint doesn't have to be.

Designed for Weirdos, By Weirdos. Our designs aren't algorithm-generated or mass-market tested. They're made for introverts who prefer animals to people, readers who consider "fully booked" a lifestyle, and anyone who's ever been called "too much" or "too quiet" and decided that was actually a compliment.

Made in the USA. Printed and shipped from facilities right here, supporting local businesses and ensuring quality control.

Who We're For

You're one of us if:

• Your pets understand you better than most humans do
• "Sorry I'm late, I didn't want to come" is not a joke—it's documentation
• You've perfected the art of the guilt-free cancellation
• Your social circle is quality over quantity (cats, books, maybe three people)
• You believe weird is a compliment, not an insult
• Small talk feels like violence; authentic connection or comfortable silence are your only options
• You're tired of explaining that being quiet doesn't mean being unkind

If you nodded along to any of that, welcome home.

Our Mission

Premium sarcasm with a conscience—where sharp wit meets sustainability for people who refuse to compromise on quality or values.

We're not here to change you. We're here to celebrate exactly who you are: introverted, animal-obsessed, book-loving, sarcastic, and unapologetically yourself.

Why "FifthKitty"?

We're a family-run brand, and the name comes from our real-life fifth cat, Thomas.

We met him while volunteering at our local animal shelter and found out he had a rare medical condition. He was given only a few months to live without a very expensive surgery—so we did what any cat-obsessed family would do: we adopted him, launched a business, and poured everything into making it work.

Thanks to our amazing customers, Thomas is alive and thriving today.

And we pay it forward: A portion of every FifthKitty purchase goes to our local shelter, helping more animals get the second chances they deserve.

So whether you're here for the sharp wit, the cozy vibes, or just a good cause disguised as a great outfit—you're in the right place.

The FifthKitty Promise

Soft shirts. Hard truths. Every piece we create is:

• Printed only when you order (no waste)
• Made in the USA with eco-friendly practices
• Designed to last years, not months
• Guaranteed to say what you're thinking (so you don't have to)

Looking good and doing good aren't mutually exclusive. Neither are comfort and conscience.

Wear your weird. The planet will thank you.

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Join the FifthKitty Homebody Collective. Because being yourself—quirky, introverted, and a little feral—is the only way to be.